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Homeward Bound

The past two weeks in the Tri Nations featured New Zealand and Australia playing each other in home and away games. The Convicts took the first game by 15 points before those guys who wear the Gothic clothes and do that dance before the game, returned the favour by whipping the Aussies by 21 points this past weekend. Before this past Saturday everyone was talking up the Aussies and some people in the media made it seem like the AB’s had as much chance of winning the match as Paris Hilton has of winning the US elections. After watching these two games, I have reached the following conclusions and I will now bestow my knowledge upon thee…

1) This is the toughest and tightest Tri Nations we have witnessed for years. The margin for error seems so small, that if one team relaxes for a few seconds, the other team punishes them instantly – think back to Dunedin and Ricky January.

2) Home advantage is huge. Winning at home has become the norm with the only exception thus far being New Zealand – think back to Dunedin and Ricky January. This bodes well for the Springboks too, who are probably placed the best of all the teams at the moment, with all their home games still to come.

3) Teams tend to run out of steam if they play three weekends in a row. Both teams who have played 3 in a row, seriously faded away towards the end of the second halves of their 3^rd game. Keep this in mind with the Boks playing Argentina this weekend, followed by the three Tri Nations Tests on consecutive weekends.

4) A week is a long time in rugby. All three teams have been spoken of as probable winners and probable last-comers-in-the-competitioners. And two of the three teams’ speculative positions in the competition have swayed to the extremes in the matter of a week.

5) And finally… Watching Test match rugby without the Springboks playing is a bit like watching gay porn. They do their best to convince us all that it’s still Test rugby, but we all know there is something seriously missing. Sorry for that horrible metaphor - I probably just gave my father the shock of his life. Dad, just think back to Dunedin and Ricky January!!

But come Saturday, no more gay porn for us!! Our blood turns green once again as the Springboks take on Los Pumas at Coca Cola Park – that’s Ellis Park’s new name which cost Coke a cool R45 million. Poor old Ellis – whoever he was. The Argies have come to the land of the Bok with an under-strength team, leaving a few of their high profile players in France to continue teaching them how to play rugby. The match will be contested under new/newer than the older ones/ not quite brand new/but still newish rules – the rules currently being played in the Currie Cup and NOT the rules being played in the Tri Nations.

Maradona’s countrymen should not be underestimated however. After all they did finish above Australia and New Zealand in the World Cup. They are masters of playing ugly rugby and normally use their forwards to play the type of game that they want the opposition to play. Still, the Mighty Boks are fine tuning their game for the final home run of the Tri Nations. The Cup is in our own hands and all we need to do to win the Tri Nations, is win our three remaining home games. Easier said than done, I know. But all in all, I expect the Boks to win by 20 and Pierre Spies will score a try.

Jongi Nokwe gets his debut Test in place of the injured Habana. And Luke Skywatson comes in for Schalk. And in the front row it looks like BUUUUUUUUSSST!!!! has gone past Gurthro Steenkamp to acquire a starting birth. Whether he has passed him permanently, we’ll have to wait another week to see. One thing is for sure, the Puma scrum will test him on Saturday. On the bench, PdV has sent Ruan Pienaar and Frans Steyn to their provinces to get a full game under their belt before they’ll return to the squad next week. Fourie du Preez and Jacque Fourie return to the team after long injury lay-offs. They will both be vital players in the upcoming Tests. Add them to Joe van Niekerk (49 caps) and Old Percy (98 ) and we probably have the most experienced bench in our history.

Here’s the full team:

15-Conrad Jantjes, 14-JP Pietersen, 13-Adrian Jacobs, 12-Jean de Villiers, 11-Jongi Nokwe, 10-Butch James, 9-Enrico Januarie, 8-Pierre Spies, 7-Juan Smith, 6-Luke Watson, 5-Victor Matfield, 4-Bakkies Botha, 3-CJ van der Linde, 2-Bismarck du Plessis, 1-Tendai Mtawarira.

Reserves: 16-Adriaan Strauss, 17-Brian Mujati, 18-Andries Bekker, 19-Joe van Niekerk, 20-Fourie du Preez, 21-Jaque Fourie, 22-Percy Montgomery.

Cricinfo International Scores

43 years wait almost over

In a few hours’ time, The Proteas start the 3^rd Test against England in Birmingham. It’s not a must-win Test, but the closest you could probably get to one without being one, if that makes sense. The Proteas only need a draw from this Test to ensure a share of the spoils for the series. But that’s not what we want. We want a series win!! We want to conquer the fish and chip eaters like they conquered South African shores and the Bushmen back in 1795. The only difference being we don’t want to lose against The Dutch a few years later.

When Andrè’s mother wouldn’t buy him an ice cream, he started throwing a tantrum

If Graeme Smith and his boys go in for the kill and leave the “fourth most visited city by foreign visitors in the UK” (useless Birmingham fact #1), they will leave it with an unassailable lead and with a series victory intact. Hell, after pummelling the Poms in the city that hosted the G8 summit in 1998 ( #2 ), we can select Penny Heyns and Nataniel for the final test at the Oval as we would have become the first South African team to take a series victory in Little Britain for 43 years! Sure a little thing called Apartheid is probably the reason that it has been 43 years, but 43 years is a long time. 43 years is the amount of time Riaan Cruywagen has been reading the news on television. Sure, the television hadn’t made it’s appearance in South Africa until long after that, but we all know Riaan Cruywagen sat at his desk in Auckland Park reading the news every night at 8pm while he waited for the invention of television. 43 years ago people were still eating raw meat and standing in queues hadn’t been invented yet.

So this morning, when Smith leads his men out in the city that was named the third best place in the United Kingdom to locate a business ( #3 ), we need to launch an all out attack on England. We need Makhaya to lead the bowling attack from the front, Morne Morkel to pull another big performance out of his floppy hat. Dale Steyn’s injury is a big loss, but South Africa is the best equipped in the world to deal with such a loss. We simply bring in Andre Nel and we need Gunther to make a big, dramatic and aggresive appearance and get under the English’s sun-depraved, white-as-milk skins. Nel needs to bowl full and swing it late to compliment the other two in the attack who are more hit-the-deck bowlers. Michael Vaughn couldn’t buy a run in the previous 3 innings and he must be reminded that he isn’t just Dale Steyn’s bunny. Our bowlers will be waiting in line to have a go at him. We need our batsmen to all stand tall and show what they can do. What a time to hit your first double hundred Jacques Kallis!! The last time Graeme Smith went out to bat in the city that was the host for the first ever Cricket World Cup, a Women’s Cricket World Cup in 1973 (#4), he scored 277 – his highest Test score to date. My predictions for our batting is that Graeme Smith and Neil McKenzie will score hundreds in this Test. And this prediction is based on 100 %, absolute guess work that jumped to my mind during the last 10 seconds. Smith has performed well as captain in the series with bowling changes and field placings. The way he handled the media and gave England a few psychological problems and started with the mind games the day before the Test, shows how he has matured as a captain with experience. Smith has had to deal with more controversies off the field than probably any other international captain in his five years in charge and he was quick to point out what an effect the current selection dilemma England are struggling with, could have on a team.

Come on Proteas!!! Do it for all South Africans who are younger than 43 years!!

Proteas go 1-0 up

After a commanding performance from the Proteas in the 2^nd Test, they lead the series 1 -0. After a disappointing effort in the 1^st Test at Lord’s the all out seam attack of the Proteas finally showed what they could do. The scary thing for England is that this was nowhere near how good they can be. I reckon the best is yet to come. And let’s all hope that it happens in the 3^rd Test starting next Wednesday.

No matter how the team tried, they coundn’t get Kallis

to bend his legs.

AB de Villiers scored a superb 176 and showed how he has matured over the years and is now able to play a composed innings as well as an attacking one if it is required of him. What England wouldn’t give to have batsmen who can read the game and what is required of them and actually do it too. We showed them how to bat out a Test match at Lord’s with McKenzie, Amla and Smith all scoring slow, time-consuming hundreds. And at Headingley, again our batting proved superior to England’s, with the Proteas top 6 showing England how to bat in their own conditions where it is of vital importance of knowing where your stumps are and knowing when to leave the ball is crucial. England played at many deliveries they weren’t supposed to and all the catches taken by the slips and the 9 by Mark Boucher are testimony to this and the good line our bowlers kept bowling. Ashwell Prince also batted extremely well for his 149. He was intent on staying out in the middle and worked hard for his runs in the beginning and started to flourish later on. Difficult to believe that the only batsman who struggled for runs before the 1^st Test is now our leading scorer. On that subject isn’t it strange that our top 6 have all fired with the exception of a certain Jacques Kallis. Not that this worries me in the least. Kallis will come good some time and I don’t really care if he scores any runs for the next year. He has, in fact, underlined his worth to the the team by picking up the most valuable of wickets in the bowling department. Kallis doesn’t run in like a steam train the way he used to. He doesn’t take the amount of wickets he used to either. But he can contain from one side and he does pick up the odd wicket now and then. What makes him even better is who he gets out when he takes a wicket. It’s always a big player or a big partnership he breaks. And who did Graeme Smith turn to when Kevin Pietersen walked to the middle. This perception probably only exists in my mind, but I reckon Kallis is the one person in the South African line up that has a better record than KP. And when Kallis exchanged a few words, I just think it got under the skin of KP and he wanted to prove himself. Kallis had put out the bait and when Pietersen pushed a bit too hard and too attackingly at a gentle outswinger, it was hook, line and sinker for Kallis. Let’s see in the rest of the tour if Smith continues to call up Kallis when it’s KP’s turn to bat. And let’s pray it keeps working.

You put your left foot in… Morne Morkel

shows Andrew Flintoff how to do the Hokey Pokey

The only slight worry I have with our Protea team is the quota players. Quota player – players not good enough to play at a certain level but are put/kept in the team because of outside circumstances. Now before you stop reading. I’ll never write about politics in my column. I love our guys all playing in England with such a good representation of our country and that all of them deserve their place in the team completely. The quota player I’m referring to is Paul Harris. I think we’re simply playing him for the sake of having a spinner in the team. Because we might one day need a spinner to bowl a team out. But Harris doesn’t look like taking a wicket. I’d rather play Andre Nel to be honest. Harris didn’t really turn the Indians into a knot when we played there either. They say he is a containing bowler. He’s not there to take wickets. Firstly, there are so many better containing bowlers in South Africa. Secondly, for most of the two Tests, he had the most expensive figures of everyone. Thirdly he doesn’t even bowl a total of 20 overs in a Test. And finally, Paul Harris can’t turn a cricket ball. I really think that Harris is simply there because our lack of a spinner has cost us in the past. Rather play Johan Botha or Thandi Tshabala who at least have a slight chance of taking a wicket in an innings. Shit, rather play Goggo Adams who is more of a threat than Harris even if Adams can’t bowl two balls on the same side of the pitch. At least Adams’s frog-in-a-blender action, might confuse a batsman for long enough to not play a shot. I don’t know. He’s a very nice guy so I really hope he proves me wrong and at least ties up one end or convinces one of the English batsman to give him his wicket. Maybe he and Stuart Broad could come to some deal that they give up their when the other one is bowling. It could only improve both of their figures. Please post a comment if you think he is worthy of his place. Maybe you can change my opinion.

Mark my words – the Poms will come back in this series. The easy part is over – come on, we all knew we were gonna go 1 – 0 up in the series. That is why we need to finish this series off with a win in the next Test. A draw simply won’t suffice. We need our bowling as sharp as ever and our batting as steady as it has been and put them under early pressure. We got them good in the Rugby World Cup. Next week we can take an unassailable lead in the cricket and after that Bafana can take on Beckham and Lampard in the soccer.

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