It’s your choice

It’s your choice, take it or leave it.

It’s your choice, you better believe it.

Does anyone else remember that irritating gameshow that was on CCV (for that matter does anyone remember the channel CCV?) years and years ago. It featured the boere-Pamela Anderson – Patricia Lewis – and some guy who always wore a beanie and was always as excited as Steve Hofmeyr when his wife isn’t at home. In a nutshell, the show consisted of contestants choosing the prize that was in front of them, for example a R30 toaster, or what was behind door #4. That normally consisted of a R20 toaster.

This is the last photo of her on this blog ever, I swear

I’m bringing this up (no pun intended to “He who must not be named”) because we are facing an extremely difficult choice as South Africans at the moment. Before 2008 the most difficult choice put before all of mankind was “Are you a Beatles fan or an Elvis man?” Before you answer that one in a hurry, think about it. You can only have one…But after the Super 14 of 2008 an even more difficult choice has popped into my head. The debate on no.8 has completely overshadowed the US elections around braais around South Africa in recent weeks. If you think 300 million Americans had a tough choice between Barrack Obama and that old, bald dude, it’s nothing compared to Pierre Spies vs. Ryan Kankowski. No other country in the world has the problem we are fortunate enough to have in selecting an eighthman for our Springboks. The talent, power, skill and X-factor ( I hate that word. It’s my 3^rd most hated word after “7de” and Laan) these two players possess.

Before the World Cup I felt Spies was on his way to becoming the rugby world’s superstar. I thought the World Cup was his for the taking. Surely he would run over Johnny Wilkinson, do a 360 degree turn and run over him again. Surely he would sidestep Dan Carter on the way to the World Cup winning try, rip off his one nipple and put it in his pocket as a 2007 momento. But sadly, after illness ended his dream of winning the World Cup and selling Dan’s nipple on Ebay, Spies has struggled to regain his form. And a Russian sounding Shark has given us his view of what an all round 8^th man should be. The skill and speed shown by Kankowski in the Super 14 and Currie Cup has been second to none. In my opinion Kanko is the better no.8 and I would choose him for team reasons. He is a better link between the pack and the backs than Spies is. He would be able to create half gaps and put Schalk and Juan Smith into gaps with his supreme ball handling skills. And on current form he beats Spies in most departments. The only reason I’m still doubting who should start is… Do you remember what Spies did to England last year? So we know what he can do. It seems Spies needs confidence to play a good game. If that’s all that is wrong, sign him up for a local under 9 game in Edinburgh and let him score 10 tries, just get his confidence up again. Or tell him he’s the best player in the world all day long.

Kankowski for the first 60 minutes and Spies, with his extra speed, for the last 20 is what I would choose instead of the current way we’re going about it. It’s the most difficult question I’ve heard since Homer Simpson asked Ned Flanders, “Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that He Himself could not eat it?” If you were the person in charge of selecting the Bok starting team for Saturday, who would you start at 8? Let me ask that in another way. If you had a moustache, looked like Asterix and spoke in a helium based voice, would you pick Spies or Kankowski?

I think I’ll go for Kankowski, please Patricia.

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Bok Dream Team

After the conclusion of Springbok Saga I have compiled a team that I think is the best Springbok team covering the years 1995 – 2007. Firstly I would just like to say that I really hope that Dan Retief and Supersport bring out this series on dvd. It’s great to have such an important part of our rugby heritage documented for future generations. They did a wonderful job in bringing this to us in a very well edited series.

Of course post 1995 means no Danie Gerber and no Naas Botha. Picking this team is pretty hard especially the flank and centre positions. I also found it very difficult to leave players out like Bakkies Botha and Fourie du Preez, who would definitely make it onto the bench and would definitely feature in a lot of peoples’ Springbok XV’s.

Please let me know what you think and where you would make changes.

15. Percy Montgomery

14. James Small

13. Jacques Fourie

12. Jean de Villiers

11. Bryan Habana

10. Henry Honiball

9. Joost vd Westhuizen

8. Gary Teichman

7. Andre Venter

6. Schalk Burger

5. Victor Matfield

4. Mark Andrews

3. CJ van der Linde

2. John Smit ( C )

1. Os du Randt

Goodbye and Good Riddance

I am dedicating this post to someone who has recently decided to quit his job. Someone who I really, really do not like. Someone who I can with all honesty say that Robert Mugabe would have done a better job had he been appointed in his position. Hell, Ricky January would have done a better job than this idiot did Sunday morning at 4AM.

Norman Arendse has decided to resign as president of Cricket South Africa. He was appointed until 2010, not that he would have lasted that long. His tenure would have ended later this year where he would have lost the election to dr. Mtutuzeli Nyoka after losing the faith of South Africa’s provincial unions. Obviously they couldn’t understand his decisions anymore either.

In a tear-jerking statement read out by Arendse, he said that he had decided to retire after the relationship between him and CEO Gerald Majola had become irrepairable and did his best to play the victim. The truth is Norman, you quit because there is no chance you would have won the next election simply because you were shit at your job. You have been worked out of your position by Cricket South Africa because you were shit at your job and you should stay as far away as possible from cricket, because you were shit at your job.

Arendse famously vetoed the selection of Andre Nel – ranked 20^th in the world at the time – and chose to include Charl Langeveldt – ranked 96th in the world – for the tour to India. The decision caused mayhem in South African cricket circles and very nearly lead to the retirement of Andre Nel. It also put so much pressure on Charl Langeveldt, who did not want to play in a team where he wasn’t good enough that he did decided to retire from international cricket. Langes was our best ODI bowler and would have made a difference in our recent series hammering at the hands of England. So the player who came off the worst out of the fiasco was Langeveldt. After retiring from international cricket he decided to forge a career in county cricket and he is currently one of the top wicket takers in England and earning praises from all over.

Arendse claims he was heart broken after hearing of the back stabbing going on behind the scenes to get rid of him. That’s how we, the public and supporters, felt when the Proteas were put out of a 20/20 World Cup that we really should have won. I remember when we played England in the tournament the commentators from England – I think it was David Lloyd and Geoff Boycott were talking about Vernon Philander. Loydd commented that he looked an interesting prospect and that he could certainly bat and bowl a bit. Boycott replied with, “Definitely isn’t better than Jacques Kallis.” Because yes, Old Norman was also responsible for the decision to leave Kallis out of our 20/20 tournament last year. How do you leave the most valuable player in the world out of ANY tournament? And when SA needed 116 from 20 overs simply to make it through to the next round against India, who would you have wanted to come in to bat at no. 3?

The truth is Norman, you allowed your ego to come in the way of your job. You never had South African Cricket’s interests at heart. Funny that the relationship between the players and the union hasn’t been as good as it is now for ages. With the exception of Arendse of course. The players don’t like him and netiher does his own board members. All of the best to Gerald Majola, who I think is doing a great job as CEO, and to dr. Mtutuzeli Nyoka, you don’t really have a lot to improve on so it won’t be too difficult, but I’m sure you’ll do a great job. To Mr. Arendse, all I have to say is goodbye and fuck you. At least you can only improve the state of swimming in this country that you have recently been appointed to do. If you’re at the bottom, the only way you can go is up.

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