Peter Tash shows his hand

“They can’t catch Habana AND Chavanga hehehe”

Peter de Villiers a.k.a The Main Moustache has selected his chosen 30 to take on the Welsh Choirboys on 7 June. Other than the two surprises earlier in the week (Jannie du Plessis and Rory Kockett not getting an invite to Somerset West), there were no real surprises and it’s a very well balanced squad.

The only talking points are the omission of Johan Muller and JP Pietersen. The great form of the 2.82m tall Andries Bekker is probably the main reason for Muller being left out in the cold of the Currie Cup. The reason for Pietersen, is quite possibly due to the fact that he couldn’t buy a try with Mark Shuttleworth’s cash in the past Super 14. The 2007 top try scorer showed slight improvement towards the end of the competition but it was probably too late.

So the side that won the World Cup are mostly still there. PdV has done as well as he could to keep them together. Add to that the absolute mouth-watering prospect of seeing Chavanga and Habana on the wings for the backline. The slick hands, pace and brute power of Kankowski will be an improvement on last year’s side too. Add to that the rise of the two Zimbabwean props onto the international stage and Peter must be smiling under that moustache.

I can’t really see what the point is of having Bolla Conradie and Danie Rossouw still there, but I’ll give Piet Snor the benefit of the doubt. I can only praise him so far for the inclusion of the overseas Boks. Maybe Danie is good at carrying tackle bags and Bolla makes the best Energade. So here is the squad for the start of the season. First up will be the hors d’oeuvres of Wales and Italy before the main course later in the Tri-Nations, when we show New Zealand how all black we can make their rugby prospects and John Smit goes to Convictland to teach those Aussie bastards a lesson in rugby.

Backs

Gcobani Bobo, Tonderai Chavhanga, Bolla Conradie, Jean de Villiers, Peter Grant, Bryan Habana, Adrian Jacobs, Butch James, Conrad Jantjes, Ricky Januarie, Percy Montgomery, Odwa Ndungane, Ruan Pienaar and Francois Steyn.

Forwards

Andries Bekker, Bakkies Botha, BJ Botha, Bismarck du Plessis, Ryan Kankowski, Victor Matfield, Tendai Mtawarira, Brian Mujati, Danie Rossouw, John Smit (c), Juan Smith, Pierre Spies, Gurthrö Steenkamp, CJ van der Linde, Joe van Niekerk and Luke Watson.

In related news,the Wales captain has taken a more diplomatic approach to the tour of our Republic than his coach did. Ryan Jones has given us a bit more respect than Warren Gatland did and even claimed that SA is the toughest place to play and tour. Here are a few comments he made:

“You won’t see any excuses from me or anyone else about who we are missing. We are going out there to win, simple as that,” Jones told the Press Association.

“The boys drew a line under the Grand Slam a while ago. You can’t afford to dwell on these things.

“It doesn’t come bigger than this. It can be very daunting, but we have to go out there and be courageous, both physically and mentally,” said Jones.

“It is probably the world’s toughest place to play Test rugby. We know what the challenge is, and we’ve got to rise to that challenge.

“South Africa pride themselves on being physical. They are big men, and it is up to our tight-five guys to stand up and be counted.

“We are building a game now on some pretty solid foundations of set-piece and defence. We know if we don’t get it right technically, we could come off second-best.

“This is what makes Test rugby special. You travel away to a hostile environment, you are taken away from your comfort one and then asked to perform to the best of your ability.

“That’s why experiences like the next two weeks are the ones you will treasure forever.

The Ospreys No.8 also stated that the aim for the tour was simply to win, and that other factors would fall in tow behind that objective.

“I don’t care if we go out there and we win two Tests 3-0 each. Development is important, but as a team for me it is about going out there and performing and winning, simple as that.

“I want to take this Welsh team on to bigger and better things. We are going to pit ourselves against the best team in the world and find out how good we are.

“I think if we get what we want to do right, we can win. That is certainly what I have been instilling into the boys.”

It has been a tiring and long season for many of the Welsh representatives, who are coming off of a gruelling rugby year that included the lows of World Cup ignominy, and the highs of Six Nations glory.

They now face a final slog against the World Champions in their own backyard – and the fact that the Tests will be played at altitude on hard ground in Bloemfontein and Pretoria, will test the durability of the squad even further.

“It has been a long season for some of the players,” added Jones. “The boys, within that 12 months, have experienced both rock-bottom and then the jubilation of another Grand Slam.

“Emotionally, it has been just as hard as it has been physically, but that’s what sport is all about. You can go from the top of the tree to rock-bottom in a week in sport – that is part and parcel of it. The boys are all in one piece and looking forward to the next couple of weeks.

“Physically, we are in good shape, and we are going to get up to Bloemfontein as late as we possibly can before the first Test, so it (playing at altitude) won’t have chance to have a huge effect.”

Wales are yet to win a Test match on South African soil, despite six previous attempts.

The Dragons have only beaten South Africa once in their history – a 29-19 success at the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff in 1999.

As I said earlier, Mr. Gatland, if you’ve never beaten us and the last time we played you, we whipped you like a cheap S&M hooker – with half a Springbok team – you can’t claim that you’re coming to Bloem to beat the Mighty Boks boet. Show us some respect for being the champions, for having the best players in the world in a lot of positions and talk about trying to match us in key areas as Ryan Jones has done here. But saying that you’ve won the Six Nations (which is like winning a Women’s boxing title really) and you’re coming to SA to run over the Green Machine might just make Bakkies angry.